idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
