My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
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I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
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So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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