a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize