dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
