Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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