Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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