Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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