STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
