I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
