Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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