Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
