If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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