What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
