The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
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my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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