Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
