its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
