last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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