i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
