She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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