I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
one two three fourrrrnication!
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
