He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
do nipples grow back?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
