I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
