Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Rumble strips road head = magical
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
