Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
