in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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