There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
