Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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