You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
