the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
