No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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