im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
