ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
