yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
