Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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