What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
