Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize