haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
