First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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