I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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