Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
