I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
