I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
