im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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