I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
