some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
