you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
