Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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