cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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