it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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