"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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