my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
