i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
