i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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