used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
zippers are such a cool invention
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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