Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
