SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
