This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
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we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
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well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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