I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
