nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
