id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
