Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
