girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
