Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
