I molested 6 butterflies tonight
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
