My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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