so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
